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| Luke Hogan, left, and Nathan McGaughey, on their wedding day. Emil Cohen Photography |
QUEENS
Luke Hogan, 34, and Nathan McGaughey, 33
Mr. Hogan: I’ve learned to say, “my husband” and realized that alone is a revolutionary act. There’s a solidity to it. I can say: “This is my husband. The full weight of the Supreme Court, the president of the United States and the good will of all decent people are behind that. I dare you to blink.”
My husband and I have been together for 15 years. We met at college in Missouri the summer of 2001. I almost look at the challenges of our relationship in terms of the two administrations it has survived under.
In the George W. Bush years we were demonized by religious leaders, scapegoated by politicians and sneered at by simpletons. Those things still occur, but they’re easier to bear when the top brass has your back. The Obama years have been our Camelot.
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| Sara Matthews-Carlow, left, and Ashley Matthews-Carlow. |
SEATTLE
Ashley Matthews-Carlow, 27, and Sara Matthews-Carlow, 27
Ashley Matthews-Carlow: It’s been such an incredible experience. I think sometimes I forget that my wife and I would not have been able to get married a year ago. But for the most part, people have been so supportive and excited for us. And moving across the country and starting a life with Sara as my wife makes me feel like I’m invincible. I look down at my finger and smile literally every day.
It’s truly been wonderful. I think we’re still riding high on pure bliss and adrenaline. We packed up and moved across the country and started a new life and adventure together.
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| Jill Herman, left, and Linda Herman. Sierra Blanco Photography |
PHOENIX
Linda Herman, 65, and Jill Herman, 59
Linda Herman: We have had a great deal of love and support from almost everyone we know and have encountered. We were married at an outdoor ceremony at a resort in Sedona, Ariz., and other hotel guests who could see the ceremony all applauded. The following day, a guest even sent over glasses of Champagne.
It has been a beautiful, loving experience. I lived alone for 20 years and never expected to have a partner, let alone be allowed to marry. At age 64, it was especially sweet, and we have grown and blossomed as individuals and as a couple. We are very blessed.
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| Scott Prendergast, left, and Daniel Lee. Honeysuckle Photography |
LOS ANGELES
Scott Prendergast, 46, and Daniel Lee, 42
Mr. Prendergast: My husband’s parents are immigrants from Korea. They were a bit hesitant and frightened by the idea of a big public wedding. They wanted us to keep the whole thing more private, discreet. It was very helpful to have the actual president of the United States on television saying this was a good thing. The tidal wave of news and social media posts about gay marriage gave us some legitimacy at the exact right moment.
We got married three months after the Supreme Court ruling. The parents had a great time at the wedding. In the end, I think they wished they had invited more family. And despite their initial requests for discretion, the national public embrace maybe made it easier for them to tell family back in Korea.
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| Lindsey Delgado-Harris, left, and Shaun Delgado-Harris. Zachary Hunt |
AUSTIN, TEX.
Shaun Delgado-Harris, 27, and Lindsey Delgado-Harris, 24
Shaun Delgado-Harris: My wife’s dad’s side of the family isn’t accepting. Her dad is accepting and loving, but the rest are very Christian, so they use that to excuse their bigotry. This month, my wife’s grandfather passed away, so attending the funeral was our first encounter with them post wedding.
It was very uncomfortable, to be forced to be closeted, but that wasn’t the time to discuss it. We had agreed during our engagement that we would not be closeted after the wedding, but we knew that conversation would have to wait.
I am terrified to bring a child into this world. It is a scary time to be a person of color, and it seems almost irresponsible to bring a child into that.
Being married is great. It is also hard. It often doesn’t feel that different from when we were just dating. Sometimes, though, it will hit me in random moments: I married this woman. I have committed my life to her. I am so lucky to have her. And it wouldn’t have been possible a year ago.
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| Esteban Esquivel, left, and Evan Haas. Alipio Hernandez |
BROOKLINE, MASS.
Evan Haas, 25, and Esteban Esquivel, 27
Mr. Haas: The overwhelming ease of getting married was utterly surprising and humbling. Being in our 20s, my husband and I will never face the logistical hoops and red tape our brothers and sisters faced during the early days of the gay rights movement.
I have always known I would get married. Always. The fact I was able to simply have that desire and know it would be a reality is no small feat.
I want the world to know our first year of marriage has been wonderful: full of ups and downs and stress and love. Our marriage has provided a larger and unexplainable sense of purpose and focus in our lives.
Planning for our future brings us great joy and security that generations of gay men and women did not have the opportunity to have. Our life together is possible because of a Supreme Court ruling, which I remind myself often when attempting not to forget where we came from.
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| Michael Fleenor, left, and George Graham. Carolyn Riemer |
CLEVELAND
George Graham, 52, and Michael Fleenor, 53
Mr. Graham: I expected to feel different after exchanging vows. Our wedding was a wonderful celebration with friends and family, but I did not really feel any different. We have not really faced any challenges as a same-sex married couple that we did not face as an unmarried couple.
Most of our days are taken up with work, caring for kids and parents, and keeping the house going. But this was the heart of the argument that led to the Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage, right?
Our life as a couple and as a family is much like any other couple or family, with the same hopes, dreams and fears.
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